The Ramble
In search of my missing mojo, the healing power of nature and a Chocolate cake with hidden veg
It’s fair to say I’ve struggled these last few weeks. My mojo, it appears, is missing in action. I know it’s grief over the passing of my pooch; I know grief comes and goes in waves. I know I have to give myself time, and I know I have to get on with things. I know all these things, but knowing them and knowing them are two different things.
While I enjoy my quiet space, the house is just too quiet. Even when she was asleep—which she was for most of the day towards the end—the air moved with her presence. I still go to let her in when I come home from anywhere and still check where she is when I fill the dishwasher, empty the garbage, and do all those other little tasks she “helped” me with for sixteen years.
It will take time and I’m trying to be kind to myself, truly I am, but it is, as they say, what it is.
Out and Abouting
Getting out helps, as does moving, “peopling”, and changing my routine, and I’m determined to make a concerted effort to do just that.
I’m enjoying my morning a week at the Op shop, and we’re also trying to make the most of the space we now have. To that end, we took a spontaneous day trip into the South Burnett region last weekend.
We visited a winery (and did some tasting), had a picnic lunch at the dam, watched magpies build their nests high up in the trees, and generally let the country air do what it does best.
Also last week, we spent a lovely Sunday night around the fire with good friends in the hinterland. We took a thermos of mulled wine and the bubbles we’d bought in Tumba, and sat by the fire with bowls of soup and, later, steamed pudding. Perfect.
Writing
My lack of mojo has extended to my writing, but I finally got good words written last week. I’ve also had the beginnings of an idea prop up for something new when this Philly is written.
Ideas are capricious—they float through your head at the most inconvenient times. These days, I try to capture them as they do—with a note or a written description—and release them again. If they reappear, as they often do, they might hang around a little longer and percolate until I’m ready.
On Wednesday I attended Creativity Unleashed, a day of creative writing workshops at USC - the University of the Sunshine Coast. Despite Sarah having attended the campus - which is literally up the road from us - for four years, it’s the first time I’ve done so. It was also the first time I’d set foot in a lecture theatre since my Sydney University days almost forty years ago - and that campus certainly didn’t have kangaroos lounging around on the grass.
It was interesting to be exposed to the academic take on writing and the intentional structure that goes with it. Presenters spoke about impact, decision-making, and the author's intentions. As a “pantser” or discovery writer, I found this to be a different perspective from the one I’d usually take. I did, however, get some good takeaways from each session, and made friends with the butcher bird who dropped down for a chat while I was having coffee.
Reading
On the third Friday of each month the bookclub I belong to hosts a bookish link-up to share what we’ve been reading over the previous month. You’ll find my post here.
In the past week, I’ve finished two books by K.L. Slater—Husband and Wife and The Widow. I’ve also finished listening to Cheerful Weather For The Wedding by Julia Strachan. First published in 1932 by Virginia Woolf’s press, it was a rambling day-in-the-life novella that I really enjoyed.
I’m currently reading:
Darling Girls, by Sally Hepworth
Brideshead Revisited, by Evelyn Waugh (narrated by Jeremy Irons)
Less, by Patrick Grant (narrated by Patrick Grant)
Baking
Baking is my happy place and I did rather a lot of it this week. For our picnic I made zucchini and cheddar scones and during the week, I made a couple of batches of Lemon Curd Cakey Squares—one for my volunteer colleagues and another for Writing Friday attendees.
I also baked a Chocolate Zucchini Loaf Cake - the recipe for which is below.
Ingredients
2 cups plain flour
¾ cup cocoa
1 tsp cinnamon
2 tsp bicarb (baking) soda
1 tsp baking powder
½ tsp salt
2 cups sugar
4 eggs
1 cup veg oil
3 cups grated zucchini (about 2 medium zucchinis)
1 cup chocolate buds
What you do with it
Preheat oven to 180C (160C fan), grease and line 2 loaf tins. The tins I use are 21cm x 11cm x 6.5 cm (or thereabouts).
Okay, the zucchini. You’ll need to get all the liquid out of it – well, as much as you can. I set my box grater over an old tea towel – one that’s really worn and quite thin. When I’ve finished grating, I can bring the ends of the tea towel together and tighten it so I can wring out the zucchini over the sink. More liquid will come out than you think, giving your arms a mini workout as you do. When you think you’ve got it all, give it another twist.
Sift the flour, cocoa, cinnamon, baking powder, bicarb and salt into a large bowl. Add the sugar and stir to combine.
In a separate jug whisk the egg and oil and add to the dry ingredients, mixing well.
Add the zucchini and chocolate and stir through.
Divide the mix (a quite stiff batter) between two loaf tins and bake for 50-60 mins.
I'm so sorry to hear about your dog. Really hard to lose a best friend. I hadn't realised when you told me he bought books for you! Keep cooking and let the healing happen.
Hi, Jo - I'm glad to read that you are giving yourself the time you need. Grief takes the time it needs. From the book title alone, 'Less' greatly appeals to me.